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Nom nom [POEM]

Dec. 20, 2017
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it’s chewing inside
then, swallowing
chunks of chocolate and hazelnut cookies
more’s stuffed in
handfuls of oil-dripping, slightly burnt fries
nom nom

“i’m hungry”
shut up, i’m sleeping
you’re not hungry
“you’re right–“
“but there’s cheesecake in the fridge”
“lemon poppy seed cheesecake with orange glaze”

i hate you
you twirl my stomach into brownie crumbles
my eyes into crushed pie crusts
twist my mind to numbers and equations
weight divided by height divided by height
i hate you
as much as my bmi

nom nom
“hi–” i hate you
“i am you”
i learn to loathe the monster in my stomach
aching for sugars
i can feel too much of myself
my skin, my stretch marks, my thighs
my head tingles as i pinch the utmost of my belly
my hair, my wrists, my mind

i know
my thoughts are ripened cherries
and colored lilac
but my mirror reflects a monster
defined by numbers
and pantones of gray

nom nom
nom nom
you’re a monster
“i am you”
i’m a monster