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Sex & Love Love in times of corona: we just met, now we’re in lockdown

Apr. 17, 2020
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The COVID-19 shitshow has simply put the whole world on hold. Schools, stores, and restaurants are closed. Flights, trains, and buses have been canceled. Conferences, vacations, and weddings have been postponed. Nonetheless, love and sex always find their own way when the rest of the world is burning. 

Stil, isolation imposes changes on relationships. This column was created to share stories from people around the world. I hope you’ll relate to these and feel less lonely. I won’t finish this by telling you to wash your fucking hands, because I hope by now you know this and we can move on to more interesting things. So without further ado, sit back and enjoy the many tales of fuck-buddies, broken hearts, and happy couples. We’ll begin with relationships that started just before the lockdown—the new beginnings. 

Falling in love over FaceTime 

I’m just that bitch, okay. I saw her in an interview on School Of Life and followed her on Instagram. Left a comment, slid into her DMs, went to see her in London (for completely unrelated reasons). Because that is how I am—if I’m curious and intrigued, there is nothing that will stop me. That was two months ago and since then we’ve managed to go to Qatar together and fall in love with each other. 

A quarantine together was obvious and necessary when I was forced to think about where I’d spend my next weeks. I felt completely drawn to her and it was out of the question that I needed to be with her if the borders were going to close. 

Of course, this was disrupted by the love, protection, and realism of my mother, who was completely right. It wasn’t time for us to go from barely knowing each other to living together—and it wasn’t time to leave my family.

I was fucking pissed, though. The first two weeks in isolation were insane; I felt insane, everyone acted insane, and the world was just not making sense. It was scary for me to not see her, and I feared we’d drift apart.

But we speak every day. We call, we text. We have cyber sex and it’s delicious. Obviously we miss each other—the very first thing I’ll do after quarantine is jump on a plane to fuck her brains out. In the meantime, dirty talk does the trick. And it’s not even weird.

We’re falling for each other. We surrender and we accept. In the past, we both tended to rush into relationships. In isolation, though, we’re using this enthusiasm to learn about each other and develop feelings. We’re just two curious souls trying to love and support—and be loved and supported. 

For once not fucking in France

You need to understand that this guy really didn't mean anything to me. I fucked him the day that I ended a long-distance relationship, and just like any time when you hook up with someone on the day of a meaningful breakup, I was confused, hurt, and horny as fuck. 

The sex was so good that at points that it was all I could think about. There was no need to define the relationship or worry about possessiveness or doubt. Really, it was exactly what I needed in that moment—to let go and enjoy myself. 

For two months, we’d see each other a few times a week and stay over at each other’s place for several days. The simplicity remained, but the frequency of our hookups made me question what this really was. Then, corona happened. 

He invited me to quarantine at his place, but I felt uncomfortable staying for an indefinite period of time. I decided to go back home to my family. Until that point, we’d never talked about “us.” We only met to fuck, have fun, and spend quality time with each other—but then he called me the night before my flight home to have the talk. I told him the truth: I was having a good time, and I didn’t want a relationship. He agreed, and I was glad we were on the same page. 

But then quarantine started, and all I could think about was him. I missed the sex.

I started wondering how our relationship would unravel. I started freaking out about small things like texting him. Our dynamic was purely based on sex, so why would we speak? But we stayed in touch. A lot. We watched movies together. Although we’d both said we didn’t want more, he was texting and calling me every day.

Usually when I feel like someone likes me more than I like them or even equally, I lose interest. But not this time. I feel like thanks to this isolation I can look at myself through a magnifying glass and develop a healthy approach to my own feelings. I enjoy his company, and I don’t know what that means yet. But trying to analyze it only makes things unnecessarily complicated.

I’m really happy about how things are going. Every day, he makes promises to me about how hard I’ll be fucked (and where!). Still, though, I don’t want to lose sight of myself—my needs, plans, or feelings. Whatever’s going to happen between us will happen. I want to try to sustain this mentality and live in the moment without rushing anything. 

Locked in a sex cave

This relationship escalated quickly. Tinder, drinks, dates. After a week and a half we became official. A week later, the lockdown started.

We’ve been in quarantine together all this time, at my place. Obviously there were some major concerns, because we’re both reasonable people and treat this relationship seriously. The reality was we barely knew each other, and we knew moving in together could hurt our relationship

But somehow, we aren’t fed up yet. My family is scattered around Europe, and I’ve realized that staying with him offers me comfort and security I haven’t felt in years. We feel good around each other, and being together creates a much-needed routine for us. We make sure to leave each other a lot of space. Although we’re constantly together in one apartment, we leave each other alone for conference calls and online classes. We also enjoy sitting together in silence, working on our own projects. 

The thing is it’s not hard. We just love spending time together. We try to keep active, although with the amount of sex we’re having that’s not really a concern. Neither of us has ever lived with a partner before, but so far we’ve been surprised at just how well we understand each other. Although this isolation has definitely sped up the flow and development of our relationship, I would lie if I said that what’s happening between us feels unnatural. We’re organically and effortlessly growing closer to each other during a time when things feel anything but organic and effortless.

Photo by Yifan Ding via Getty